K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
