I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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