How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize