I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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