i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
