I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
