WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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