and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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