I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
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She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
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Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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