Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
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