You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
