singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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