can we get nightvision for the apartment?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
