Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
