You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
