Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize