yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
