I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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