I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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