some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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