I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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