you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It all started with a game of naked twister.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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