I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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