yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
