you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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