yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
