Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
