Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize