sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
