Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
