on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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