i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
