it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize