guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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