You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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