P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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