some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
