I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
