oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
