i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize