Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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