so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
