you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
