i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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