I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
