he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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