I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
