Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Im part way to drunk.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dear god my vagina.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
