Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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