I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
