I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize