I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
