weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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