I wannas sexs uuuuu
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize