Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
