She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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