You just made me feel so damn special
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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