how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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